Nonsensical Medicine (Club Penguin -- Kudzu AU)
by TheToonCrew
Summary: a strange plant. a vine, perhaps. though nothing grew on it. it was nonsensical medicine.


It was something that they should've noticed a while ago. It unnaturally came from the beach- a weird plant that grew quickly. It seemed to just be...a leaf vine, nothing that held any flowers nor any berries. It was strange, but no one really reported anything. Though the sturdy EPF agent, who went under the alias of "Jet Pack Guy", grew suspicious quick. "It grows more and more every day," He explained to his fellow agents, as well as the director, while in a meeting. "It's starting to stick to the lighthouse and I think the other penguins that are trying to swim are getting annoyed from tripping over the vines. We need to do something before it gets worse."  
"J.P.G., we've been over this. It brings no harm. Though I agree we should keep an eye on it." Dot, the undercover disguise gal, replied. "But even if it turns out to be dangerous, we don't have anything to really stop it. What is this thing, anyway?"  
The smart scientist of the group, Gary, adjusted his glasses and looked at the photos that Dot managed to get while they investigated. "Sadly, if I'm correct, it's already too late to really stop it from growing. It's called 'Kudzu', or something of the sort. While it is used as a medicine in some places, in others, it's an inconvenience. It grows a foot a day, and it can envelop entire buildings if there's nothing there to exterminate it constantly. It'll already take a lot of pesticide and medicine to stop it, at least a year or so."  
"A year? That's already way too much time to spend on one mission. We have loads of other stuff to take care of..What will we do?" The disguiser held her head and rested her elbows on the table. "We can't just _ignore it_, can we? But we can't just leave behind the other missions we have either."  
Suddenly, In came the Rookie, who stumbled in, yelling "GUYS! GUYS!" over and over. As late as he was, he brought a bigger case. He leaned on the table, trying to regain his breath. "I-hff, I got more..hff..I got more photos...Guys, hff...This is BIG." Everyone crowded around his camera. The weird plant was starting to grow in more places than they imagined. The mine, the dojo, even the inside of the nightclub had those continuously growing kudzu plants all over. Rookie took a moment to breathe. "_What's even happening_? What ARE these weird vine-thingies growing all around the island? Who brought them here in the first place? Wh-"  
"Calm, Rookie." Gary interrupted. "It must've come from some outsider...Maybe they carried the plant while trying to inform us of it, and somehow caused it to grow?"  
"Maybe it was Rockhopper. He's the only one that travels outside of Club Penguin-" The dark red penguin coughed once he could see Gary looking down, as if saddened by the mere bittersweet thought of the pirate travelling back to the island. "It...It could also have been a gardener. Someone who's good with taking care of things, or rather, plants. Sensei, maybe? He's pretty calm for someone who can pack a punch." A small 'tell me about it..' was grumbled from Rookie as he looked at his scorched arm. J.P.G. looked at the photos again.  
"If it's possible, we can ask around to see if anybody knows of what's going on." The director piped up. "Jet Pack Guy, you can check the mines. Rookie, you'll go to the dojo and see if anybody there knows. Dot, you go to the nightclub. And you, Gary...you can ask around the beach area." The small blue penguin snapped out of his thought, staring at the other before nodding happily. "Good," The hidden figure nodded back. "We can start investigation now, so we can later have time for bigger emergencies if they arrive. Does that all sound alright?"  
And so, everyone was off going to ask around. Right before Gary left for his mission, he beamed at the director and whispered a quiet, but genuine "_Thank you._"

The first reports were from the dojo. Sensei could easily identify the plants, but he didn't plant them himself. He knew how to treat the plants as well, but not how to stop them. Just as Gary suspected, the older penguin mentioned that it would be very hard to kill, but he also said exterminating them would better improve the area. The next report was from the mines; Rory told them that they just started "poppin' up left 'n right like some sorta whack-a-mole thin'." He knew nothing of the plants, but they tried to get rid of the vine from the roots-much to no avail. About the day later, they started sprouting up again. Other workers and miners often tripped over the plants and actually got crushed up vines instead of the usual coins. It was too irritating to work with sometimes. Next, Dot got her report from the nightclub. Cadence didn't know of anything either, but this one dancer that was currently there could inform them. Astrea was their name, And they knew plenty about plants and was a frequent caretaker of the ones in their igloo. They had a dark green coat to their feathers and sported a purple polka-dotted dress. Their hat was a purple wizard hat with yellow stars plastered around it.  
"Kudzu takes about _four to ten-ish years_ to completely kill, sorry for the bad information ma'am." Astrea explained sorrowfully. "And it requires constant attention. If you don't take constant care of them, they'll just keep growing until the whole island is covered."  
"Mhm," Replied the disguiser. "Our lead scientist has already explained the danger of keeping the kudzu around. Is there any further information you can supply us with?"  
"Not much. Just make sure to keep an eye out for where it's growing. If it swallows a building, it's done for. End of story. Again, sorry for the bad news. I wish I could be more optimistic, but this is no happy matter." The small dark green penguin looked away. Dot nodded in response and reassured the other that it was alright.  
"Thank you for the information. We need all the news we can get our flippers on, whether it's great or horrible."  
All of them later regrouped at the EPF office, with Gary sadly getting no information about the kudzu at the beach either besides it's now halfway up the lighthouse. They were all concerned about the incoming problems arising. The miners grew more and more impatient and some even quit going to the mine regularly. The dance floor at the nightclub had the kudzu growing out of it and it started bothering other dancers. Sensei supplied them with nothing and the only information they got from  
Astrea was the information they knew, _plus _the fact it took even more time to stop it then even Gary had imagined. "Four to ten years…" One could hear him mutter under his breath as he tried to come up with a solution. "And this is assuming that we're using the strongest pesticide we can that isn't completely toxic to penguins nor puffles.."  
"What can we do at this point." The dark red agent huffed. "The plant won, what can I say? We can't get rid of it."  
"No, No...There must be a way to get rid of it faster..We can't live like this all interfering with our everyday lives. There must be something, agents, and we're going to find it and put a stop to it."

"Maybe Herbert's behind this?" Rookie chimed in, looking at the pictures. "Sensei didn't have any information, That green penguin is one of the only people who actually know about this strange...thing, and Rockhopper hasn't come to shore in, like, months!"  
"If this was Herbert's doing, then we need to confront him about it later, But let's be honest here, He wouldn't go as far as to destroy the whole city slowly and painfully. This is also his home."  
"Then who did this, G?"  
"It remains a mystery. For now, we have to focus on finding an antidote before-" Another emergency report came in. Someone from the cove saw Kudzu growing up the side of the shack while they were getting ready to leave. The same penguin tripped over a vine in the forest. G sighed sorrowfully. "We'll send in one of our recruits to investigate. Meanwhile, you try to make your way home, penguin. Watch out for more sightings."

As Dot was preparing to get sent out to investigate, The meeting dismissed. All but two penguins had left a while ago, and only Gary alongside Rookie were still there. Rookie looked down at the floor, kicking his flippers with what little legs he had. He was pretty upset over the situation, but just as he does, he tried to keep positive about the whole thing despite it being a crisis. This time, though, he was scared. He didn't want to lose his home, or more importantly, his friends. G, meanwhile, was desperately trying to find more solutions, only to come to the conclusion that there was nothing they could really do. "Gary?" Rookie finally squeaked out after several minutes of silence. "Will we lose Club Penguin?"  
"Oh, Rookie, Don't ever worry about that," Gary replied, though his eyes were still glued to the screen. "Club Penguin cannot possibly be lost forever due to this little plant. You have nothing to worry about. Now, you should probably get going. Report back to me any other news about the Kudzu and we'll be on our way."  
"..Okay, G.." Rookie adjusted his glasses and walked out to the teleporter. G pushed up his thick glasses and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He had a feeling this was going to become much, much worse...

And, worse it became.


End file.
